Chailey & Newick Painting Group
Newsletter
Warning
…… Those with delicate political sensitivities …… of any complexion ….. are best advised to read no further.
Weekly update 2024(1)
Hello All,
Following the second election of Donald Trump to the most senior position in the management of the ‘Free World’, by a worryingly forgetful US population; and the elevation of Kemi Badenoch to the most senior position in the now enfeebled Tory Party; I have been encouraged by Freddie ‘the Doodle’, to retrieve the old Parker pen and a bottle of Royal Blue Quink from their resting place in a removals box and let you all know what has been happening, since my last newsletter in 2022 and our subsequent exit from Chailey.
(Freddie is of the opinion that the quality of the two latest incumbents of the above jobs may offer me some opportunities for amusement in the ‘foot- in- mouth’ department, which may be too good to miss).
I think he’s right.
First though, a catch-up for old friends at CNPG …..
In early 2022 we loaded up the van and headed for a flat in Chiswick, having sold the Barn, while furniture f&f mostly headed for storage and we became cash buyers for our next perch.
We had been looking around Lewes for something smaller and more modern and less gardening / mowing as a ‘last move’.
Freddie was not impressed, with having to exchange his freedom of a big country garden, for visits to a small urban Chiswick park and some riverbank with resident foxes and a CAT (Misty) in the next door flat (the ultimate insult).
He has escaped and had a couple of goes at catching Misty, but with no more success that he had with the relatives of Mr Ploppy the Pigeon at Chailey.
There were some other early chasing opportunities though, with Egyptian geese who plod around the Chiswick gardens in pairs, behaving like gangland enforcers – Freddie took a look; they hissed and gave him the ‘evil eye’ and he has since kept his distance, probably observing that one territorially-minded Egyptian goose can see off 30 odd Brent geese on its own, just by turning up in their midst. The Egyptians help keep the gardens in much better order as Brents poop everywhere ‘en-masse’, if allowed to graze.
Having given up on finding a house in Lewes, as prices were high and supply low, we decided to look West.
After nearly buying in Cuckfield – a house which it turned out had an acrimonious and unresolved divorce in its sale chain, we eventually found our present place – a modern, new (ish)-build in West Chiltington and moved in seven months later.
Don’t be fooled – ‘new build’ does not mean ‘no problems’ and we are still in ‘snagging mode, 2 years later.
In between property repairs and improvements (shed, studio, deck over stream, new fencing, etc. etc. ), I have joined a small West Chiltington Art Group, and for Freddie, we have found a common/woodland over Fittleworth way, where he can chase squirrels up hill and down dale, so he is now a contented mutt again.
We have also acquired a robot mower, christened Godfrey after the elderly gardener we borrowed from a friend, to get things straightened up when we arrived. Freddie and ‘Robo – Godfrey’ are yet to become best mates and quite a lot of woofing takes place when Godfrey emerges from his dock as programmed.
All otherwise potters along here quite well and we are pleased with the move, though I’m missing Mondays at CNPG.
In more recent news:
‘The Donald’ has now given Elon Musk the job of running the newly created ‘Department of Government Efficiency’ (DOGE) and we have to hope that it does not end up mirroring Elon’s support for DogeCoin, which has been less than sparkling in the medium term, after an enthusiastic start. (Am I being uncharitable to suggest that Mr Musk’s well heralded expeditions into crypto-currencies might have something to do with his endorsement itself, raising prices for the coins, to allow him to sell out at a significant profit shortly after investing? Shurely not!)
It is to be noted that Elon has already appointed an underling, (or is it two?), to cover this new DOGE job for him – as he is otherwise rather busy trying to underpin the shrinking remains of Twitter – now “X”, which he bought reluctantly a while back, and also re-booting the stalled Tesla, which has hit the buffers in the sales department. (Do cars hit buffers - or is this a mixed metaphor too far?)
Limited ‘efficiency’ is evident therefore, at the inception of DOGE, with two bods already doing one absent bod’s job and presumably all getting paid lots of $$$s for their troubles by the US taxpayer.
How long will the Trump/Musk love affair last?
Whilst Elon arguably has too many jobs, Gary Lineker, on the other hand, is now out of a job, or one of his jobs; and with the resignation of the Archbishop of Canterbury, there is a ready - made vacancy he could fill, part-time if he gets bored.
How well Mr Welby would cope with Match of the Day on a reciprocal basis, remains to be seen. He might have to be a bit more prompt in spotting ‘off-side’ situations than he has been in the past, on dodgy clergy matters.
Paula Vennells of Post Office fame (also dodgy), has also been suggested in this context (Archbishop, not MOtD) but is probably too recent a convert in the Light, Faith & Truth etc. department to be given serious consideration.
A well known greengrocer / Master Chef, and purveyor of sausage rolls and other greasy un-pleasantries to ‘Ladies of Uncertain Age’ (or something similar), is no longer in the running either, having “promptly” had his collar felt by the BBC political correctness police, after some 10 years dilatory oversight of mounting disquiet - allegedly.
Nigel Farrage has recently been appointed Tory-Leader-in-Waiting by none other than the aforementioned Elon, who is threatening to back up his suggestion with a USD $100m fighting fund. I would suggest that Nigel does not hold his breath until he has sight of the dollars or their crypto equivalent, given Elon’s reported difficulties on the pay package front, with a judge in Delaware.
That’s about it for now.
Hope you are all keeping well there in East Sussex – the Exhibition maintained its usual high standard and it was nice to meet a few old faces at the hall when I dropped in.
Cheers,
Iain.
P.S. Freddie has reminded me to advise you that he has selected a new personal pronoun for his Facebook account and now wishes to be addressed as ‘The’ Freddie, having rejected ‘Who’, ‘What’ and ‘WTF’ as alternatives.
He hopes that as it seems to have worked for ’The Donald’, it may enable him to avoid any future legal claims from complainants whom he was observed humping before his bits were cut off’
In any event, “He” is no longer an appropriate pronoun, for obvious reasons.
PPS – More may follow, but not weekly ……
N.B. The views expressed here are not necessarily factually accurate, or those of the author - or his dog.
